Driving Women Crazy

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Driving Women Crazy

Follow women like a car
and you will not go wrong;
don't get too close to them, stay far
and keep the distance long
twixt you and her, and when her lights
turn red accept that you
have come too close --- she feels her rights
are violated. Do
be careful when you follow her
that you do not offend her,
to sin is human but to err
may cost you --- don't rear-end her,
but if you do don't claim it was
her fault for driving slow,
make sure you pay at once because
that is the way to show
repentance for the fact you drove
too close to her, behind,
and let your racing eyeballs rove
with other cars in mind,
not concentrating on her rear
although her red lights flashed;
do this and she will hold you dear
when into her you've crashed.
Learn carefully this highway rule
in detail, don't be hazy
about the facts, and surely you'll
be driving women crazy.

Inspired by a poem, "Bloody Men," by Wendy Cope.